The Irony of the Imposter
It was when I got sober that I knew what my drinking was trying to “fix”. And if I’m being honest, once the alcohol was gone, I quickly turned to food to numb the same things. Food was—and still is sometimes—as much of a numbing tool as alcohol can be.
I’ve been sober for over 3 years. I’ve healed, and I’ve healed again and again. I even lost 50 lbs in the midst of it all and the imposter syndrome still tries to get loud.
Healing is a process of learning those cues and understanding why we reach for things to remove ourselves from our thoughts or situations. Sometimes as we move through our healing and live through experiences, we still question our abilities.
The irony is that as I’m sitting here writing this, that imposter syndrome is still trying to whisper that what I have to say, in this very moment, isn’t special or helpful or insightful. In those moments, I go back to what He told me 5 years ago: “Follow me. I don’t care if you crawl, just follow my light.” 🙏 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
Intellectually, I know I’ve lived through every bit of this—the struggle, the healing, and the hand of God through it all. Even after everything I’ve overcome, that voice still tries to make me feel unqualified. I’ve learned that the noise is usually loudest right when we are standing in the truth.
I’m sharing this because even with all that internal doubt, you just have to keep moving. I, you, we have to keep speaking our truth, because I am 100% sure it’s someone else’s truth as well. Just keep one foot in front of the other. ✨️
